It's Savannah. I start with my new employer on 10/16/2006. I am fucking terrified.

Now, those of you that know me may be thinking: "Chris may be unable to pay bills/taxes/traffic tickets/whatever on time, lives in constant fear of many, many things, and doesn't bathe regularly/punched me in the face that one time/broke my heart/stole my car/still owes me ten bucks/called me an asshole, but he usually has his shit together when he's turning wrenches."

You'd be right. However, it's not the job I'm worried about. It's this damned house. Here's a scene from two years ago:

Me: "You know, honey, since we're planning on staying for a while, we should stop paying rent and get in on some of this gi-friggin-gantic Northern Virginia real estate boom, you know?"
Her: "That's retarded. Do you have (a very, very large number of dollars) to buy a house with?"
Me: "No, but we could save a little, and they have these creatively structured mortgages now that allow first-time home buyers like us to afford places."
Her: "Well, I don't really want to get something expensive. Let's just buy the cheapest place available that dosen't have an ongoing tuberculosis outbreak in it, and see how that goes. Let us call a real estate agent."
Real Estate Agent: "Did someone call me?"
Us (in unison): "We'd like to buy a tidy and inexpensive apartment. We would prefer it to not smell like dog, curry, or gunpowder. Actually, it should not smell like anything."
R.E.A.: "Here are several to choose from."
Us: "We'll take the least expensive."
R.E.A. "That will be (a number of dollars which I had previously thought to be made up; something like "eleventy billion" or "infinity time infinity"). See you later."
Me: "What a beautiful home we've made, darling. I hope a combination of economic factors, job dissatisfaction, and personal distaste for the Mid-Atlantic region in general don't come together to screw us later on."
(Ominous music swells)

I want a do-over. I feel like a complete moron. I've finally been trained to start acting more or less like an adult, and I completely fuck up the one big decision that I lobbied so hard for. Yay for me.